• Hasitha Illa

Love: Then and Now

Updated: Jun 3, 2020

We have grown up with stories from our father or grandfather of how life was back then. Till date, we have undergone changes in the quality of life like how we make money, how we travel and how we communicate. Along with all these materialistic transformations our mentalities have evolved. We started changing our views towards a concept which started years ago. Love is an example that suffered due to these changes.

Back then, life was extremely restricted in terms of resources and parenting. Cars and phones were a luxury that not too many people had. Due to the narrow mindset of parents, children were not allowed to freely roam and apart from that, love wasn’t a thing among the common crowd. Despite the various problems that they faced, love turned out to be a beautiful asset in that age.

The concept of ‘everlasting’ love was trending and made the bond utmost pleasing. People loved based on the heart to heart connection. They made the most of what little they had and when things turned upside down. They communicated and fought till their last breath to make things work. But, the true test of patience was with long distance relationships. They relied merely on hand written letters for communication. Which showed love while writing them and the patience when receiving them.

As times have passed, it has become easier to keep in touch. Technology has made life so much easier, and yet so much harder. While we are now highly connected, the quality of connections just isn't the same. You could get on a plane and be with your beloved in less than a day's time. Distance no longer needs to be a factor. And yet, somehow we seem to have grown further from each other.

The ease of life provided by our mobiles and the internet also brings with it an overload of options. And it is a fact that when we're overloaded with choices, our decision making goes bad. Something similar happens in modern relationships. It becomes very easy to cheat on a partner, it becomes very easy to leave someone and find the next one. Now I'm not judging what's good or bad, but it's for sure that a deep understanding and bond comes from shared experience and time spent together. So somewhere between hopping from one relationship to the next, we're losing out on the depth of bonding that our previous generations enjoyed! And without that depth, it's hard for a relationship to last a lifetime.

Another issue with modern life is how materialistic it is and sometimes this translates into our relationships as well. We tend to be with someone as long as they meet our needs and wants, and when they can't we start looking for someone else, without considering the current partner's situation.

The landscape of love has certainly transformed a lot over the ages. There's a lot of good and bad at any time. Back then, you couldn't marry your beloved unless society agreed to it. Now, love marriages are accepted in most societies! Back then, you had to write letters and

wait long hours or even days for a reply. Now, it's just a matter of tapping a screen and you get instant connection. Back then, the mutual time shared allowed for deeper bonding. Now, the ease of access sometimes makes us take it for granted.

I guess the point is that we need to build ourselves and our values first.

Get to know exactly how we need to be loved, and how we can love. And then try to find a human who can understand and fits in with us! Love has, and always will be our strongest asset! Love has the power to heal and change the world, so don't take it for granted, don't give up on it!

Love with all your heart!

This was collaborated with a person who has dangerously similar thoughts to mine. Hence, we decided to come together and write a single post on love. His name is Ankit Nag and he has a beautiful Instagram page, The Lost Indian, with heartful content.

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